"When the Butterflies are Churning."

Shaking hands, pounding heart and breathless speech. This is how I have felt in the past before and during public speaking and it is NOT a good feeling. I struggled through presentations in college and graduate school and eventually just conceded to write every word that I was going to say down in order to calm my nerves. This made my life easier because I could simply read from the paper. However, by the time I got to graduate school a professor told me that I should try to present without reading from the paper because it shows confidence and will sound more natural.

For the remainder of graduate school, I tried to speak naturally during presentations. Sometimes it went well and other times it did not go as well. On the eve of completing my master's degree, I produced a presentation that unfortunately I will never forget. This was about a 30 minute presentation and we were being chosen at random to present. I also had been up until 4am the night before preparing for this presentation and another presentation the next day. When I got up to present, I felt like I could barely speak and my hands were shaking so bad I could hardly use the app on my phone to help me slow my speech down. I was so embarrassed and actually apologized to the professor. While she said that I did fine, I knew in my heart that I had struggled and the class probably could not understand most of what I said. 

In my job, we have board meetings where the staff speaks for a short period of time. For my first two board meetings, I went back to my old strategy of reading my speech because I felt more comfortable. However my hands were still shaking, which meant I was still visibly nervous. 

This past Wednesday as I prepared to write another speech for the board meeting  I was already extremely nervous. My coworker made a suggestion that changed the outcome of the speech. She said, "why don't you just talk without reading it and act like you are just talking to me." I wrote down bullet points and also printed out the speech so everything was written down just in case I panicked and needed to read it. 

When I got up to make the speech, surprisingly I wasn't nervous  and I spoke with confidence. When I sat back down,  I was sure that everyone in the room had understood me and that felt great. 

Public speaking has been something that I have struggled with for a really long time but I have found strategies to make it easier. Fortunately, I have had people along the way who have offered suggestions that have made this task less daunting. 

If there is something you are struggling with, my suggestion would be to talk to people who can offer strategies to make it easier. I am lucky to have amazing family, friends and coworkers who offer strategies and support if I am struggling with something. 

Written by 
Sydney Breslow 

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